Painting was my childhood dream, but I always attached conditions to it: "Later," "When I’m ready," "Once I have a stable income, more space, or peace of mind." Working on a real canvas, using real brushes, and even figuring out my artistic voice, all of it was pushed aside with those same excuses. Deep down, the real reason was just a lack of confidence and a whole lot of fear. So, telling myself to just do what I could with what I had and focus on what sells, I started drawing digital stickers for journals.

There was no grand turning point. I just got a vague feeling that doing the things I’d put off was the only way to move past this frustrating, stuck phase of my life. It felt like a wave rolling up from behind, gently pushing my back. That’s when my "familiar hell" came to mind. I'm grateful for this tiny space to lay my body down, yet I'm not proud of it. It’s comfortable but anxious. I walked into it voluntarily, but leaving isn't easy. Suddenly, I just wanted to record this space, and the embarrassing emotions I feel toward it.

[ No Longer at home in hell ]

Perhaps this current ‘familiar hell’ was actually the ‘better place’ I arrived at after escaping my previous hell. And now, I am dreaming of another escape.

[ Dreamer’s Chair ]

This is the dining chair I sit on while daydreaming. The vast, murky gulf between my reality and my aspirations leaves me disheartened. Yet, this state of being is all too familiar to me.

[ Queen’s Morning ]

There are mornings when I wake up weirdly feeling like everything is going to turn out great. As I prepare a healthy breakfast for myself while listening to upbeat music, I get swept away by the feeling that I can achieve absolutely anything I set my mind to.

[ Amor Fati ]

The cup of hand-drip coffee I brew after breakfast is the highlight of my day lately. When I reach the peak of these emotional waves, I feel like I could easily fall in love with my own destiny.

 [ Saving the Queen ]

The moment I see my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I am forced to look at myself floundering in reality all over again. And then, a phrase crosses my mind : No one is coming to save you. I am the only one who can save myself.

 [ Buried dream ]

Growing up, I was always told : ‘Know your limits and be content with what you have. Don’t chase money. Don’t be greedy. It’ll only lead to trouble.’
Consequently, whenever I wanted something or dared to dream, I felt a deep sense of guilt, as if I were being presumptuous. So, I pushed those dreams down.
But lately, those very dreams keep crossing my mind. 

I’ve shared more stories about my own familiar hell in my art book, which comes with the printable art package.

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Original Artwork : All main artworks and illustrations are original creations, digitally hand-drawn by ANook3.

Backgrounds & Presentation Mockups : Background presentation mockups and secondary background assets were sourced from licensed platforms (Unsplash) or generated using AI generation tools (Nano Banana) and upscaled via OpenArt.